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One Word

by oddczar

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1.
Samsquanch 02:01
You said you always hated convenience, you've become just that. Just a set of legs they could spread apart at the drop of a hat. It's not hard to say I'm wasting away can by can while you're sitting seaside with the fastest hands. I hope you realize that you're more than that. I guess what comes around gets around again. So much for understanding what sincerity means. You traded up for the quick fix, and all the loneliness that it brings. (you reached out with a lack of commitment but you'll always fall short) So I breathed you in just to breathe you right back out because our hearts were never one. Sick and simple, left alone, with high expectations of when you'll fall in love. So speak easy with the sake of savoring the little time you'll have with him, and drink heavy with the hopes of being the one to make a big enough impression on his bed. I guess what comes around is 'round again.
2.
Bud Brothers 02:45
I'll get jealous when you lay in bed, whether it's with, or of, another me or someone you wish I was. I'm still catching my breath, do you catch my drift? Because tonight I feel like shit, I'm not the me that I miss. Too decent to stay, too honest for goodbyes. Maybe in one way or another it's worked out for the better, because I've always known that I prefer to drive alone as long as someone else is on the other end of the phone. I guess that's all you turned out to be. When you and all your friends are singing this chorus just remember who it was written for. I tried to reach you but barely made it past the door. I don't care who you share yourself with anymore. There are shades of gray that I live between because anything is my everything. I can't wrap my head around it. I can't sit still for two fucking minutes because you can't let go of what you never had. It's just that the best of what we had was not good enough for me.
3.
Sidesex 01:17
I held out too long. Maybe it's just that I think too much, but there's not a place in this city you haven't touched. Move along, just move along. For the past eight weeks I've been walking on eggshells just to keep from breaking your sleep cycles. But hell, I've had trouble fading away... Haven't I? I don't remember seeing you without seeing through the holes in us.
4.
Junaluska 03:10
It's been a year now, and I'm miles away from where I was. Minutes pass in these hours I've been awake, and distant visions become that familiar face. We're all we've got, and it's sometimes like we never started. We're all we've got, and it's sometimes like it'll never end. But, besides all these broken and bleeding arms, I've got this love I've let bleed too long. Another couple weeks, and I'll come undone. Severing the strings I've been pulling at for months. I'm still on my own staring down the sun. We're all we've got when all we've got is love. We're All We've Got.
5.
Nineteen 02:03
Lately I forget to forget that you don't exist. I'm also growing comfortable with never being comfortable. Broken down, winded. Tell me there's more to nights like these than thinking through your symmetry. For the next few weeks this lack of sleep is all I'll keep close to me. I've struggled with nineteen, and the memories in these readings are all I'll need to keep me at peace. So pick out the flaws that I already see. There you go, right on time, seeing straight through me. But if it's not the last time, when will be the next time? It's so cold in here. It's so quiet. Where are you to warm me now? You told me over and over and over and over, over and over again, that you'd stay. Over and over, on and on, over and over, and on and on.
6.
One Word 02:10
I left that mirror up on your door just so you'd know what you were walking out on. We're familiar alone, and to love is to loathe. Broken hearts become accessories to match shirts and shoes, but the songs are all about you. I'll get by because it's all I know. Make me believe in something, because I don't believe in much. But I believe in your eyes, and the AEOUs they divide. Tear me out from the inside. Break all the rules you abide by. In our circumstance I'd rather live in the past tense, because it's the only time that I made sense, but I never put a dent in our relationship. That one word, "L-O-V-E", or something that you seem to feel with someone else, instead of me.
7.
It's all become so interesting. Someone I love as much as they love me. There's nothing wrong with "everything", but what's keeping you awake is what's putting me to sleep. Every night you're not here. Every day is a struggle when every day is "settling down". I'm tired, lonesome, I'm getting there with you and us. I guess that I'm fine. I miss you, I need you around. I'm digging at the ground, but there was nothing else to find. You're not here, I'm not gone. I just need something I can rely on. But all I've got is you. I'm tired, I'm lonesome, I'm getting there with you and us. I'm working towards putting my best foot forward, and I'm moving closer to comfort. Believe me, I'm sorry.
8.
A piece of you has stayed in every bad decision I've made. We looked for something so subtle in the summertime sunset, too blinded by boredom to believe in any regret. A long waited goodbye, but I always preferred the sunrise. Washed away in the wake of wishing water into wine, too frail, forget forgiveness and remember finding forced lies. At least I tried. And it's nothing new, ceasing to exist between "black and blue". Five years spent fighting what I always knew to be true, the end's not bitter without you. But I've cast aside any fucking doubt in my mind, that it's not worth my time to make worrying my nine to five. I'd rather be refused that to be recluse.

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Written by oddczar
Recorded by Kris Hilbert @ LGTBIZ
Mastered by Jack Shirley @ The Atomic Garden

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released December 15, 2012

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oddczar Charlotte, North Carolina

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